And then the explosion. In a moment, everything was transformed. The question had dropped.
The answer had come from some unknown dimension.
Truth is attained through a sudden explosion, not gradually.
It cannot be compelled to appear. It comes.
Krishnamurti
The life of the untrained is like a wild river. My life was a wild river. Buddhisme is the journey into the mountains. To where the river start. To the river headwaters.
You come to understand so much when you see for your self the origin of it.
#Door4
Working with acceptance was a door for me. It changed much. But I keep coming back to this subject, both in conversations and in my daily life. I was also clearly missing a few subtle points, because on occasions I still felt bad. How shall I put it? I was doing good, but it felt heavy work. That is, until I chanced upon the book “Deepest Acceptance”.
I have been working on accepting. It takes attention. I observe my every thought so I can understand myself better. I accept myself. But it is also a chore. I often feel I can’t rest. I am afraid I shall become unhappy if I let down my guard.
“Deepest Acceptance” shifted this for me. When you recognize an emotion, there is no effort in accepting it because it has already been accepted by you. Otherwise it would not have been appearing. The fact that you can identify it, tells you it is already accepted in your being. It has already entered. Accepting is when you are not constantly trying to reject some waves and accepting others.
“Healing is the falling away of all ideas of how this moment should be”. “Acceptance is about recognizing yourself as the open space of acceptance, as the ocean that already accepts all its waves, unconditionally – including any wave of non-acceptance”.
The fine point here is to also accept non-acceptance. The moment I try to get rid of pain, I become a “seeker”.
Other Buddhist text tells of this non-acceptance. I just could not get the real meaning until I read Jeff’s book.
Osho says; “Accept the unpleasant. No submission, but go with it.
Only if you take it by the hand and follow it along can you gain any insight and transcend.”
I know that I am still not through with this subject. In deep acceptance is also complacency hidden. I still observ and wave hello at all signs appearing in my mind. I just feel much unburdened now.
All growth – no exceptions – is cancerous until something arises that keeps it in check. Growth has no inherent self control. This is the natur of growth. It is because of the lack in control that it grows.
It is always some other existence keeping it in check. This creates diversity. Everything in the universe obeys this fact. Thus it is the law of diversity.
Our ego-construct as well. Unchecked it creates decease. Higher self is the diversity.
I want to explorer masturbation in this text.
Word of warning.
1. Buddhism advocate refraining from sensual pleasures. So you are about to read a text that is NOT buddhism.
2. This is NOT an instruction on howto get a better orgasm. Quite the opposite.
Most of the text is from the Indian guru Osho.
Once in a while I had the urge to masturbate. But it was becoming a problem for me. I would always become a little depressed the day after. And when I became aware of it, I remembered my wife once noted that I often was moody or grumpy the day after sex with her.
I started thinking deeply on this behaviour and I realized that I felt a deep longing when my mood took a dive the day after. There were also a strong feeling of loneliness. For a long time i could not get deeper in the understanding of this.
You will discover that sex is not what you are looking for, it is closeness. To your self. Your thoughts may have been fractured, and you feel incoherent. Your thoughts may be all over the place. You need to come back to your self. To be in a fetal position again. Holding another person intimately is a spiritual thing more than a physical thing. Holding your self or another is the same. It is both mental formations. It is a deep felt safety.
Truly good sex dissolves your self-sense. The boundary between you and you partner dissapears. You become one. Sex is true intimacy with self.
Here follows some text that may inspire you. At the end is a guide to masturbating. Imagine that. “Oh my, isn’t my hands going to fall of, or I will go blind?”
Acceptance is;
A quality of presence.
No concepts, thoughts and ideas.
Yes instead of no. There is agreeing to it.
A willingness to let go. If you experience a feeling of holding on, then you must let it go.
Being completely free, of a voice that is saying you are doing it wrong.
Just to experience what is there. Just touching the moment.
To notice where there is non-acceptance.
This too. This too is ok.
If i feel it in my body i see there is anger.
And if i bring acceptance and attention to that.
I realise that it is fear. Feel it in my body, fear, fear, in my throwte
I see it is fear that i will loose something,
or someone will destroy my happyness.
And if i accept the fear and look at it, i realise it is careing.
It is love.
And then i can let it live in my body because i understand this now.
So by accepting this anger, i can move into the next understanding.
If I do not accept it, reject it, then i will just be reactionary to it.
Accept is not giving up. It is loving as is, loving without change.
All-Embracing Compassion: The Heart-Practice of Tonglen. As human beings, we have a very interesting habit of resisting what is unpleasant and seeking what is pleasurable. We resist, avoid, and deny suffering and we continually grasp at pleasure. If we observe our behavior, it is easy to see that we habitually resist and avoid people, situations, and feelings we consider to be painful, unpleasant, or uncomfortable, and we are naturally attracted to people, situations, and feelings we consider pleasant, comfortable, and gratifying.
According to Buddhist teachings, this behavior is a symptom of fundamental ignorance and is influenced by the defilements of greed (attachment), hatred (aversion), and delusion (misperception of reality). To break the spell of this dualistic perception, to dissolve the barriers in our hearts that keep us feeling separate from others, and to cultivate a deep compassion for all living beings, including ourselves, we need to meet and embrace reality in a radically new way.
If I told you that I could make you truly happy. So happy that you would feel like bursting. And not just today, but for the rest of your life.
I would make your life utter bliss. How much would you be willing to pay?
I mean really. People pay gladly to have their breast made bigger. But happiness for the rest of your life?
OK, now you have decided on a figure. And you are not a cheap person, so it was probably a large number.
That “figure” is what you are now paying for not being happy, living the material life of the west.
In the suffering is also the possibility of becoming enlightened. And the Buddha often tried to teach his followers by asking difficult questions.
So you may consider every person you meet to be a Buddha, who is trying to teach you something, or giving you a challenge.
That is one of my most important mantras. I always think about what I can learn from the people i meet. Especially the difficult ones.
“I can’t stand my self, i can’t live with my self”
“I am ashamed of my self”
“I am always pushing my self”
“I am afraid I will not live up to peoples expectations”
Think about this very common thoughts. There is no doubt whatsoever that there is two parties involved.
There is “I” and “myself”.
Buddhism is about becoming myself, and choking the “I”.
The western condition is that we have been hi-jacked by some alien being, that keep tormenting us.
In the East they have been educated to not let the “I” take over your life.
